Epitome of ME

it’s like since you left my heart hasn’t beat the same . my thought aren’t the same . & my smile isn’t genuine . i sit up & pretend i’m okay because i don’t want everyone else around me to worry . why did you mean so much to me ? have this affect on me ? it’s true what they say . you can tell how much you invested into something by how you feel once it’s done . & everyday i try to make up my mind that i don’t need you . need this hurt . & then somehow you text me & make me forget the decision i had just made . & then by the end of the night i feel like crap again :( because i’m the one left alone , w/ an empty bed . no one to talk to . to laugh about random stuff w/ at 2 am . to fight over who’s pillow is who’s . to have tickle fights w/ . to say i love you . rub your back . lay on your chest . fall asleep just as you kiss me on my forehead . there’s no more fairytale shit for me . what i come home to now is this big ass bed & i still can’t sleep on
your side . i can’t persuade myself to take off your stuffed animal & not sleep w/ it . because when it’s here apart of me pretends so are you . for a few select hrs i escape reality . but once the sun peaks through my windows & i wakeup it all rushes back . that i’m still alone & still hurt . & how i just want it to end . /: